As old as my tongue

Sadly, I've reached that age, if someone mentions a three way , the first thing I think of is light bulbs.

If I get much older, the only dating that will interest me, will be Carbon Dating  to determine my age.

I do remember the who, but not the how.  Or the when. 

Stolen joke: 

I recently went to the doctor & had a complete physical. The doctor told me that I had the body of a 40 year old.  I should give it back because I'm getting it all wrinkled.

But, seriously, folks.  Dr. Shewin B. Nuland has authored a best selling book entitled, " The Art of Aging."

What is portrayed in commercials, as a Norman Rockwell-esque experience, in reality, is more of a Salvador Dali or Jackson Pollock type of existence. Much more surrealistic & abstract. Aside from the usual amount of regrets & more gaffes then Mitt Romney's campaign, I have had & am having a  pretty 

good life. My health is good. There are the usual aches & pains, which I've had most of my life, mostly due to the false belief of immortality you have as a youth. I do the same things I did when I was younger, except not as often. The recovery time is a bitch.

With more introspection, (if I wanted), I'm sure there are a few things that I would have done differently. However, if I could do it over again, I would. Exactly as I did before. 

The mantra of Sinatra doing it "My Way",  or Popeye's " I am what I am", for me, has transcended

beyond the cliche.

In my case, the adage that "life is short", is the furthest thing from the truth. I am having a Capra type of life. It is a long, sweet ride. The whole time, I've been holding an "E ticket." 

Peace & Rock On.

And the horse you rode in on...

Michele Bachmann, for her McCarthy-esque attack on the Obama administration & the Federal Government regarding infiltration by members of the "Muslim Brotherhood", at the highest level.  In particular, a member of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's staff.  Once again, a publicity seeking right winger, attacks the integrity of individuals without anything resembling proof. Using the weapons of paranoia, innuendo, and outright lies, this disgraceful act by a disgraceful  member of the United States House of Representatives is becoming the norm for certain factions in this country, who just can't get over the fact that a black person holds the highest office in the country. Sadly, but not totally unexpected, Bachmann is joined in this attack by four other members of the House of representatives.  Reps. Trent Franks R-Ariz, Louie Gohmert R-Tex, Thomas Rooney R-Fla & Lynn Westmoreland R-Ga.

This "plantation mentality", the South shall rise again, cracker, racist bullshit demands repudiation.
Even Sen. John McCain (America's sorest loser, AKA. Grandpa Grumpy) slammed Bachmann's action on the Senate floor. McCain referred to  Bachmann's charges as "sinister".
Taking a lesson from the Fox News Network by framing their "fair & balanced  opinions  as a question, allow me to follow suit.
Isn't it about time we took a page out of the John Wilkes Booth playbook? Sic Semper Tyrannis.
Shame on you Michele Bachmann & your gang of four. Your behavior is frightening. History continues to repeat itself.

This,That, & The Other... Ad Infinitum

This: A man walks into a bar, orders a drink & says to the bartender,"All Republicans are assholes."
A man at the end of the bar says, " Hey, I heard that, & I'm offended." The first man asks,
" Why, are you a Republican?"  The other man replied. "No. I'm an asshole."

That: Willard Mitt Romney is a double threat. A politician & a corporate big whig. Just the kind off person to sell out the country to the highest bidder. No problem with having a moral compass. As we know, those types of slime have sold their souls for a few dollars without any regrets.

The Other: Another severe storm hit tonight. Winds in excess of 60 MPH's. Rain falling, as "The Yardbirds" once sang, " Over, Under, Sideways, Down." Broken tree limbs, leaves all over the ground. Looks like the neighborhood was put through a shredder. Lost power for 1 1/2 hrs. Second severe storm in week and a half. Last time lost power for 11 hrs. We rarely lose power. Maybe 5 times in the 29 yrs in this neighborhood. If this isn't a sign of infrastructure decay, I cannot give a better example.

Ad Infinitum: Got a new computer: A Mac Mini. The old one, after 4+ years was so infected with computer type issues, that it was time to send it to the vet & have it put down.
The best thing about the Mac Mini is the ease of use. No need for the bullshit (which causes most computer problems) Windows. I refuse to download any Windows programs. The hard part of learning to navigate the Mac Mini, is to unlearn all of the unnecessary crap you have to know to deal with Windows.  Shame on you Bill Gates for a variety of reasons.
P.S. Will you & your wife stop donating millions to third world countries. This country, the place you live in & have reaped the multiple benefits from, could use the money. Adopt a fucking highway, build
a bridge. Donate to food shelves, high schools. Buy some state of the art medical equipment for the VA hospitals.Whatever. Keep the money at home. What ever you are currently giving to the USA, it's not enough.

But, Then Again: Politicians seem to think the American people are like mushrooms... they like to be kept in the dark, and fed a lot of shit.



Peace & Rock On.

Welcome to my world... by invitation only

Last week the daughter & I went to see Kristin Chenoweth in Mpls.
Time for me to get my Gay on.  Absolutely fabulous & then some.
Two hours of unrestrained Show Business, with the accent on Show.
An incredible performance. She hit some notes that had me worried
that my glasses would shatter. Great segues between songs, with some
 local stories about her days at the Guthrie Theater & her first encounter
 with the Minnesota winter her jabs at ABC executives etc. She is every
 male heterosexuals (me) dream.
Talented,voice, humor, looks & incredible body. One of the best non
 Rock concerts in my decades. Thanks for the goosebumps. You go Girl.

After having my fill of political pundits & their incredible lack of civility,
I have created my own version of an opinion show. It's a bit radical (surprise),
 but it will end the frustration of watching these rude bastards. It is called... CUT OFF
The premise is no different from any of the similar gabfests, with one major
 improvement. The caveat is ... the guests are allowed to present their views.
No matter how insane, no matter what political party they represent, no matter
what. They can agree or refute with out interruption. Period. If someone
of the opposition interrupts the presentation of a differing view, their microphone is CUT OFF.
They are unable to have anything broadcast for 3 minutes. If it happens a
second time... Cut Off for 5 minutes. If they are foolish enough to do it a third time,
they are escorted out of the studio by security. All televised. They are also banned
 from further appearances for 6 months. This just does not include the obvious
 rudeness of talkus interruptus... it includes the split screen shaking of one's head,
the smirk,  & the complete lack of originality. If a pundit repeats themselves a third time
or spouts their political party's standard talking points. CUT OFF.
Of course, the host is allowed to politely interrupt, but only to the ask the person to expand,
or to ask a question of clarification.  The public might actually get to hear something.

I've devised the perfect place for those distressed from the world around us.
A getaway, a resort where you can forget the usual things that plague the individual
living in this inane world. A place to rest, to recharge. A place to get away from the stench
 of every day Bullshit. The name of this haven... The Downwind Unwind.

Welcome to the Torrid Zone. Here in Minnesota, we are experiencing 7th straight day
 of 90+ degree temps with oppressive humidity. No change in sight for the next 4 or 5 days.
The patio door is steamed over. Go outside and your glasses fog up from the humidity.
Overnight lows are in the 70's or 80's. What climate change. Great time to be a cactus salesman.
Holy moley,  In the words of Buster Poindexter...It is hot, hot, hot.

Happy Birthday United States Of America.

So long till next time. Peace & Rock On.

Father's Day 2012

On Father's Day, the daughter & I were going to go to see Kristen Chenoweth in concert. Alas, last minute concert postponed due to health problems. ( laryngitis)
Andi (daughter) calls up & says, she & Spider (son-in-law) are coming over to have a Father's Day Bar-B-Q.
What a pleasant treat.

Burgers & hot dogs, pasta salad etc. & I don't have to do a damn thing except revel in the gloriousness of not doing nothing.
After the feast, after the DVD, we settled down for the  catch up, story embellishments, & B.S. &  a cocktail or two. This has become a family standard. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
I must pause momentarily. and say that Andi is creative, funny, intelligent, & sarcastic. Those who know her will find no fault in that assessment. Do not get her pissed off.
Do not tell her that black is white, up is down, or wrong is right. She knows there is no just in justice. She's a bit of a no nonsense liberal.
The best thing I love about her.... she does not suffer fools lightly.
Whilst doing our usual, (maybe it was the day), Andi said the most heartfelt thing I have ever heard her say.
She thanked me for making her what she is today. She was proud of me. Right back at you. It's not quite a new tie or a power tool, but I'll take it. Gladly.
Thank you Andi,...I love you.

Odds And Endz

6/6/2012 is the 68th anniversary of  "Operation Overlord". That was the code name for the invasion of western Europe by allied forces. "D- Day". We, the descendents of WW ll veterans can only imagine the insanity & the hell these heroic military personnel withstood. Thank you for your sacrifices.

I saw my first firefly this evening at approximately 10:05 PM, CDT. This is the earliest that I have seen one. Couple that with the growth of the garden, it's going to be a hot, warm Summer.

Scott Walker, Republican Governor survived the recall election in Wisconsin. He beat back the challenge of Democrat Tom Barrett. Walker took in over 60 million bucks from out state interests. (Koch brothers etc.) Barrett won the nomination over the union endorsed candidate. Remember, the unions started the recall process & the establishment Dems., usurped the process & put their same old, same old, good old boy up as opposition. The Dems. promptly changed the tone of the campaign from workers rights to the usual, political bullshit.
Again this proves that the Republicans are the party of the corrupt, while the Democrats are the party of the incompetent. Not to worry. It is only a matter of weeks before a Grand Jury indicts Walker for " campaign finance malfeasance, embezzlement of veterans funds, bid-rigging, and even child enticement during the period when Walker served as Milwaukee County Executive, but was running for governor." Walker may have traded the pink slip for an orange jumpsuit.

There is a reason why we have two ears and one mouth.
Think about it.

How many times do I have to hear someones version of Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah" before I start to regurgitate?

Why are John Sandford's, "Virgil Flowers" novels some of the best thrillers out there ?

What is the appropriate waiting period after a spouse has
passed away, before you actively try to get laid? It's been 6+ months, & even the crack of dawn isn't safe from my lecherous intentions. Apologies to all concerned.

Thanks for the indulgence, & continue to "Rock On".

Thanks for the memories

We're coming up to Memorial Day weekend.
It is more then special retail sales events, the Indy 500 or the unofficial start of Summer.
Memorial Day began after the American Civil War as a way to honor the fallen Union soldiers. It then expanded to honor all who had served and or fallen in the service of their country. Since the start of the 20th century, Memorial Day has evolved into a day in which we remember loved ones who have passed.
My father (WW II veteran) died when I was 6 yrs old. I don't have a lot of memories about him, after all I was just a kid when he died, however, I always tried to take a few moments on Memorial Day to think of him & reflect on what life would have been like if I had the influence of a father figure. How different would my life have been? To me Memorial Day was always, selfishly, a would of, could of, should of.
Well now Memorial Day has taken on another, yet similar meaning.
My beloved wife Karen passed last November. (2011)
I have plenty of memories of our time together, mostly
(90 %) good to fantastic. The lives we shared will always be a part of me, regardless of the day, whether it is designated as an official day of remembrance or whenever. I will be forever grateful for our time together. I am thankful for our wonderful daughter, Andrea & how her life,
her principles, & her beliefs will be a testament to our love for each other & for her.
I still selfishly think, would of , could of, should of.
Take the time this Memorial Day to think of your loved ones. Those who have passed, & those still living.
Peace & Rock on.