Monday, December 13, 2010

Hey, Arthur C. Clarke, I got your 2010 right here.


On a purely personal front, 2010 can kiss my big fat wrinkled white ass & good riddance.
The missus almost assumed room temperature (died) following routine surgery to have an ovarian cyst removed. OOPS. I've had elbow surgery to repair an entrapped ulna nerve. Total numbness & partial paralysis in left hand for 4+ months. You gotta love the hoops the insurance companies make you jump through before you can get the obvious taken care of. Recovering nicely now. Thank you Dr. Christina Ward. Forced into taking early retirement via Social Security to keep income coming in. Hence the term income. Nice economy & job market. Buried under 17.3" of snow two days ago with Arctic cold temperature following. Christ, winter is getting harder to abide as the years pile up. Truly a really eventful horseshit year on the medical side of things.

I've become more cynical (didn't think that was possible) & disgusted with mans continued inhumanity to man. Wake up assholes. We're all in this sinking ship of life together.

On the plus side... still have a roof over our heads. The dog is still alive (going on 13+ yrs.) The daughter & her husband are doing relatively well. Reconnected with some childhood (teenage) friends. Although some things are best not remembered. And I wish they wouldn't.
Putting everything into some sort of perspective, not the best of times, but still we survive.
With that in mind & apart from all that humans try to do to make the world uninhabitable, I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas & peace. Come on God, hit me with your best shot. See you next year.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Webb's Best


A couple of posts previously I touted what I considered the best comedy show of OTR, Fibber McGee & Molly.
This trip down the OTR highway, I'd like to take everyone to the best detective show.
OK, maybe not the best plot wise or longest running, but certainly the most unusual.
"Pat Novak For Hire."
This little gem starred Jack Webb. The Pat Novak series with Webb lasted only nineteen episodes. It ran from February through June of 1949.
The basic premise concerned Novak who owned a legitimate boat charter service in San Francisco trying to economically survive. Due to continued lack of business, Novak would hire out doing odd jobs. Most of the odd jobs, were shady & involved tough guys & dangerous dames & always led to murder, which of course, Novak would get the blame. It co-starred Raymond Burr as Police Inspector Hellman, a belligerent cop who really hated Novak & only wanted to either lock him up or send him to the electric chair, regardless as to what the evidence revealed. Burr was about 8 years from starring as Perry Mason on TV.
It is best known among its fans for being fast paced with plenty of action. The finest thing about Pat Novak For Hire was the rapid fire one liners amongst the characters, & the hard boiled narrative . Here are some examples of that dialog.

"Around here a set of morals won't cause any more stir than Mother's Day in an orphanage."
"She was at least 50, because you can't get that ugly without years of practice."
"I better have a drink first. There's an ugly taste in my mouth. I think it's saliva."
"She sauntered in, moving slowly from side to side like 118 pounds of warm smoke."
"You can't afford to have them start laughing at you. People will get the idea it's your face."
"She was kind of pretty, except you could see somebody had used her badly, like a dictionary in a stupid family."
"Somebody had gone duck hunting in the middle of his back."
"I began to think about the .32 caliber pistol. It's a woman's weapon--well, that doesn't prove anything, so's a bread knife if she's in a bad mood."
"You're always in trouble, Patsy. You're a child of adversity, a son of scorn. The fates spit in your eye, and you try to retaliate, but the wind's always blowing in the wrong direction."
"You'd like to fight for some strange fantastic cause, wouldn't you, Patsy? But you can't find anybody your size. Men are too small, and the gods are too big."
"Did your friend get his face at a fire sale too."
"The street was as deserted as a warm bottle of beer."
"I looked up the only honest guy I know, an ex-doctor and a boozer by the name of Jocko Madigan, a good guy, but to him a hangover is the price of being sober."
"When she opened the door, I found out what the right kind of breakfast food'll do. She was wearing a slack suit without much slack."
"My head must have looked like a jackpot--everyone in town was hitting it."
"She had nice hair, and the dress helped too. It was dark blue and had a v-neck, but the designer believed in big letters."
"She was a real pretty nurse, if you like pure mammal."
"She looked real good sitting there in a white crepe dress. It was one of those tight fitting babies that made a bathing suit look like a toga."
"She was in her 30s and pushing 40 hard enough to bruise it."
"I rent boats and do anything else that goes with a weak will and a strong stomach."

Of course Jack Webb went on to bigger things as director & star of Dragnet, both on radio & TV. He also was the creative force behind such TV shows like "Emergency" & "Adam 12". An interesting post script. When Webb died in 1982, he was interred in the Forest Lawn, Hollywood Hills Cemetery in Los Angeles, and was given a funeral with full police honors. On Webb's death Chief Daryl Gates announced that badge number 714 which was used by his Joe Friday character in Dragnet would be retired. Mayor Tom Bradley of Los Angeles ordered all flags lowered to half-staff in Webb's honor for a day.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

What a whacky night


The spouse & I had just drifted off to sleep when a loud pounding on our door, coupled with the dog barking woke us up.
Going downstairs to see what idiot was banging on our door at that time of night, I damn near crapped pants when there appeared at the door a beefy policeman telling us that there was a "SWAT situation" & we would have to evacuate our home.
Well it turns out that one of our townhouse neighbors had caused a ruckus & the cops were called to his home. (Details are sketchy as I don't know what exactly prompted the call to the cops, or who initiated the call. More info awaits when more neighbors return.) After evacuating, the missus , dog & I settled into the family car down the block to wait out the event. We later did find out the the loony when confronted by the police had threatened to blow himself up. That alone was the reason for the evacuation.
From the safety our the car we watched some text book operations. Townhouse surrounded by minimum 20 cops/SWAT team.(just in the front) Street cordoned off, armored vehicles, sniper rifles. Like living a Bruce Willis movie. The whole operation from evacuation to the all clear (they busted the moron) took about 4 1/2 - 5 hours. They even had a police chaplain present.
After the nut job threatened to blow himself up, the police cut the natural gas supply to minimize any potential damage to neighboring townhomes (ours included).
Xcel Energy had to come out to relight the water heaters & the furnaces after the all clear was given. A great time was had by all except the dumbass loony.
Now a bit of background of crazy boy.
We, and not just the wife & I, but the entire six unit townhome in which we live, plus the surrounding townhome residents,(that's in excess of nine families) have tried for over 10 years to bring about some sort of involvement by the local authorities over the actions of the guy.

Drug dealer (medium to big depending on time of year) Dealing drugs out in the open parking lot around small kids. So many customers, it looked at times like a McDonalds drivethru. Cops could do nothing unless they eye witnessed. We had video tapes of deal going down etc. Not good enough.

One of his roommates accidently shot him in the stomach.

Mutiple police calls for disturbing the peace,fist fights etc.

Outstanding warrants.

Harboring a fugitive. That was a hoot to see 15+ squad cars from Maplewood Mn, St. Paul Mn & the Mn State Highway Patrol & Ramsey County Sheriff converge in the parking lot. All police advancing with guns drawn toward this bozos townhome.

His crackhead buddies tried to break into his next door neighbor's unit while she was home with her kid. Cops called. Crackheads split before cops arrived.

There are more, but you get the idea.
Reprehensible does not quite do justice to describe this guy.


We have tried to have his townhome unit declared uninhabitable by the city as he has trashed the inside. (broken furniture thrown outside & inside, wallpaper ripped off the wall, hanging in shreds, garbage & trash piled in living room. etc.)
Can't wait for the Hazmat team to show up today since the cops were inside his house after his arrest& saw the living conditions.

So all is well. Bad boy taken away. I'm sure there is some heavy duty psycho evaluation coming up. Not to mention,long term jail time if found competent.
And how was your day?
Book Em Danno!

Friday, September 24, 2010

79 Wistful Vista


I'm a fan of OTR (Old Time Radio.) Being of the age in the 1950's, I was lucky enough to be able to listen to some of the best shows first hand during the waning years for this type of program. With the advent of television, what is now called OTR was soon replaced with music, news & local programming with an occasional network show thrown in.
My interest in OTR was rekindled in the late 60's when I came across some old vinyl (33 1/3) records the featured the adventures of "The Shadow". This soon evolved into a search for other programs, which luckily were starting to become part of the nostalgia craze. More & more companies were reissuing these programs on vinyl & cassettes.

I started to collect shows like "The Lone Ranger", "Jack Benny", "Dragnet", "Gunsmoke" & more. Thanks to MP3's, I now have in excess of 3,000+ episodes. I am by no standard considered a serious collector, I leave that to those who have tens of thousands of episodes. After decades of listening (I can't fall asleep without listening to the OTR mp3's), I have opined that of all the shows that I have heard, (and some of them do not hold up or are just plain dreadful), the best & most timeless is "Fibber McGee & Molly".

Fibber McGee & Molly ran from 1935 - 1959. It was sponsored for the majority of its run by Johnson Wax. The show was rated #1 or #2 throughout the 1940's. It is honored
with a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. Fibber McGee & Molly was also the first radio show to spin off two of their supporting characters into their own shows.
("The Great Gildersleeve" & "Beulah").
The premise of F&M was what is now standard for sitcoms. The blowhard bumbling husband, the long suffering understanding wife who could put the spouse in his place with one withering word.
Beyond the simplistic story line, Fibber & Molly was quite topical for its time. Many episodes centered around the home front during WW II. Plots involved Red Cross & scrap drives. The importance of voting etc. McGee always trying to ingratiate himself in to the current event. His ego was boundless. He could do everything better than anyone on the planet. Foot in mouth was his basic dilemma. Fibber preceded Ozzie Nelson of Ozzie & Harriet fame as never working for a living.

Featured in the best supporting cast in radio were Bill Thompson(The Old Timer,Wallace Wimple plus multiple roles.) He was second only to Mel Blanc for versatility. Gale Gordon (Mayor LaTivia) Gordon is best known for his roles as Osgood Conklin on Our Miss Brooks & Mr. Mooney on various versions of The Lucy Show. Arthur Q. Bryan (Doctor Gamble) Bryan also supplied the voice of Elmer Fudd for Warner Bros. cartoons. Bea Benaderet (Millicent Carstairs) Benaderet went on to play Blanche Morton on Burns & Allen and Kate Bradley on Petticoat Junction,both on TV. She also provided the voice of Betty Rubble on The Flinstones.
Fibber & Molly was one of the first shows to work the sponsors commercials into the action. Harlow Wilcox was the announcer & pitchman. Wilcox was one of the busiest announcers in all of radio. Amos N' Andy & Suspense are just a few of his credits. Music during the golden years of Fibber & Molly was provided by Billy Mills Orchestra, a very tight band with a somewhat Latin influence in later years. These guys could cook. Vocals were performed by The King's Men lead by Ken Darby. Darby became a conductor & composer who won 3 Academy Awards & 1 Grammy. He also co-wrote
"Love Me Tender" for Elvis. Obviously, the most talented group of performers from top to bottom, in all of show biz history.

Often uttered by Molly in response to a terrible pun issued by Fibber was what became a catch phrase even to this day, "T'ain't funny, McGee". Contrary to those classic words, it was & is, Damn hilarious McGee.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Your pardon please

I have been remiss in tending to this blog. What began as a semi-egotistical bit of whimsy has unfortunately become too often, a showcase for personal histrionics.
A very dear friend, & sometime follower of this blog told me that I seem so angry in my postings.
The original intent of this blog was to show the absurdities in the world around us & to comment upon the same, hopefully with a bit of humor. There is certainly a profusion the ludicrous around us today. The last thing that is needed in these cheerless & inflamed times is a third rate hack as myself to add "fuel to the fire."
Yes, there are enough events in the world, especially in the political arena to make anyone become another Charles Whitman. The time has come for me to dial it down.
Occasionally, I will rant on about some jackhole who in my opinion has crossed the line of civility. However, I plan in the future to limit these outbursts to a minimum & return to be the sarcastically humorous SOB that has become my trademark & hopefully endeared me to my family & friends. I will periodically toss in a joke, no matter how much in poor taste it may seem,& completely unrelated just to make someone smile. Thank you for your indulgence.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Outsourced


NBC has a new "comedy"called Outsourced scheduled this fall 2010. From previews,it looks like they are using every East Indian stereotype they can to garner laughs.
I don't give a rat's behind about stereotypes, if I did, I'd be pissed about how fathers have been portrayed since the advent of sitcoms. Fathers(husbands)are easily manipulated by the family, condescended to by the "smarter" wife. Dumb as a bag of bricks etc.
But, I digress.
How does NBC think offshore outsourcing is a good premise for a comedy? According to the Halogen Corporation, "Outsourcing statistics show that the largest percentage of jobs being outsourced is in Information Technology, by around 28%. The next largest field is human resources taking 15% of the outsourcing market, followed closely by sales and marketing outsourcing with 14% and financial services outsourcing at 11%. The remaining 32% is made up of other different processes such as administrative outsourcing." These stats are just for India.
In this day of a trashed economy & thousands upon thousands losing their livelihood due to outsourcing, I don't get NBC's concept of comedy. Current guestimates are that the U.S. has lost between 4- 6 million jobs directly due to offshore outsourcing, with another 14 million at risk.
The best that can be said about this "comedy" is it is offensive on multiple levels.
NBC has had the lowest ratings they've for years (Zucker you suck). Their ratings are right in the toilet. What else is in a toilet...crap...like the "comedy" Outsourced.

Friday, August 20, 2010

This, that and the other revisited


This:
The Rev. Franklin Graham, son of famed evangelist Billy Graham was quoted on CNN's John King "I think the president's problem is that he was born a Muslim, his father was a Muslim. The seed of Islam is passed through the father like the seed of Judaism is passed through the mother. He was born a Muslim, his father gave him an Islamic name." Well, anyone with a brain knows that this patently untrue & another right wing loony idea that ranks right up there with the birthers conspiracy. For whatever reason (political, racial) Graham has chosen to perpetuate this bullshit. As a supposed man of God, Graham has sealed his fate in the afterlife. I'm sure that whatever God Rev. Graham believes in has consigned him to own personal hell for those remarks.
Timothy 6:11 says "But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness." For those who believe, there is no "my God is better than your God". Perhaps the blasphemous Rev. Graham needs to look inward & reevaluate his own beliefs.

That:
The CDC (Center for Disease Control) has come out pissing & moaning that movies featuring cigarette smoking should automatically receive a "R" rating. Two jackhole
members of the U.S. House of Representatives, Democrat Edward Markey and Republican Joseph Pitts, wrote the Motion Picture Association of America encouraging the industry to adopt stronger anti-smoking measures.
Listen up dimwits. Smoking is a personal choice. No one is influenced by the actions of a movie actor's smoking habit. As a adult lifetime smoker who expects to die due to smoking, allow me my vices & choice. Smoke 'em if you got 'em & fuck off.

The Other:
Fox News donated $1,000,000 to the Republican party. Something isn't quite right with this picture. Shouldn't it be the other way around? The Republican party should donate $1,000,000 to Fox News, considering that Fox sells the Republican credo
24/7. Well, there goes the last vestige Fox had of "fair & balanced"
I left my version of Fox's "fair & balanced" when I had my morning sitdown in the bathroom. Believe me, neither one has a pleasant aroma to it.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This, That & The Other Part 3

Monday 5/12/2010 on Hardball with Chris Matthews, one of the guests was Tom Shrek of "The Heritage Foundation". He is senior analyst of labor economics. The following is lifted directly from the 5/12/2010 transcript regarding Mr. Shrek's solution to unemployment.
"And so, if you want to find a job, a lot of the workers now in New York or unemployed are going to have to move to different state. They‘re going to have to move to, say, Nebraska, or to Texas, or one of the states where the economy isn‘t doing as poorly.
But when you got the two years of benefits, it encourages the workers to look for the jobs in New York instead of looking for the jobs, say, in another state."

Using this logic. if the was a sudden influx of the unemployed to Nebraska or Texas, think what will happen to their economy when these states have to start picking up the tab for social services to provide food, clothing, shelter etc. Not just for the unemployed, but for their families as well. Or does Mr. Shrek want families to live & die on the streets of economically sound states?
Background: The Heritage Foundation is a Washington DC conservative think tank.
Is it me,or is conservative think tank one of the great oxymorons of our time?

The Iowa North Tea Party began displaying a billboard in Mason City last week that compares President Obama to Adolf Hitler.
Lets get real. Between 1933-1939 Hitler began to purge (i.e.remove, eliminate, kill those opposed to the Reich. Example: 1934's "Night of the Long Knives") Hitler, consigned, along with the Jews & Gypsies, those considered mentally unstable to concentration camps.
If President Obama was truly comparable to Hitler, Tea Baggers should watch their behinds. The camps are open & waiting for you. If anyone can be considered mentally unstable, it's these morons in the NITP.
Sidebar: The NAACP raised a ruckus regarding the racist message of said billboard.
Really. The more than obvious message from the majority of Tea Party members is based on race. Lordy, lordy Miss Scarlett, "There's a Negro President." From the woodpile to the White House.Whitey is scared to death.

George Steinbrenner died this week. the usual eulogies regarding his generosity to charities, his humanitarian deeds etc. were mentioned predominantly. I don't give a shit. In my learned opinion the jackhole did more to destroy the game of baseball than anyone in history. He exploited the players, the fans & the game itself.
The purity that was once baseball was forever changed thanks to Steibrenner & his ilk.
The days of baseball being a game are long gone.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


Because of the following:
"Radical environmentalists: you are damaging the planet with your efforts to lock up safer drilling areas. There’s nothing clean and green about your misguided, nonsensical radicalism, and Americans are on to you as we question your true motives."

The preceding is a fine example of the abuse we must suffer in this wonderful country for allowing Freedom of Speech
With all the calculated buffoonery of Limbaugh, Savage, Beck et.al, Ms. Palin has added another quality to the mix. Outright stupidity.
Please define "Americans"
If you disagree with MS. Palin, are you not considererd American?
Are there really any safe driiling areas? Let's ask BP.

You are a megalomaniacal, venal, cretinous, harpy, who would make Joe McCarthy proud, & is scaring the bejesus out of me.
I am asking you Sarah Palin. Will you Shut Up.

Friday, May 14, 2010


The current rumor flying out of Hollywood is the cancellation of NBC's "Law & Order" after 20 yrs. Ouch. While no longer the fan that I was of the series, (with all due respect to the current lineup of personnel), the last two years of"Law & Order" seem to be beyond the long -in-the-tooth category & moving into the Polident generation. Perhaps it's a burn out caused by the never ending marathons on TNT.
The crux of this rant is about the short sightedness (if rumor becomes fact), of another TV network having cranial-rectal inversion.
Currently tied with "Gunsmoke" as the longest running prime time drama in all of TV history. This series has done an incredible job of being entertaining & informative, not to mention offering some of the best acting performances by both regular cast & guest stars.
If NBC has a brain, (doubtful) the network should order 13 weeks of new episodes for 2011-2012. What looks better on your resume? Hosting a drama series tied for the longest prime time run, or hosting the drama series with the LONGEST PRIME TIME RUN in all of television's history.
Who's your head of programming? Jay Leno?
NBC at one time considered to be the network to beat, has recently fallen from grace. No longer innovative or creative (Today, Tonight, Hill Street Blues, Cheers, Meet The Press, SNL etc.), it has become at best, a vapid shadow of its former self.
"Law & Order" has generated millions of $ for the peacock network over the last 20 yrs. It has become legendary.
With the cost of television series production soaring, it has become cheaper to market "reality shows", sub-standard entertainment & rehashed ideas. I suppose this is to be expected in today's world. The last thing one has come to expect from any corporation is loyalty.

"In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime, and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories."

Van Buren & McCoy etc.
You Will be missed.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Fox News is being called a lot of things: Fox Noise, Fux News etc.
Well there is definitely one thing you can't call them, & that's News.
In their latest "fair & balanced", "we report, you decide" sham, Fox gave air time to the failed former Director of FEMA, Mike Brown. You remember him? He worked under the failed former President W.
This loony piece of excrement went on an unfounded (other then the fact that "righties" really hate Obama) rant blaming the current administration for the current oil spill in the Gulf. The secret agenda of President Obama & his Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel was to politicize the disaster & use it to "bankrupt the coal industry"(direct quote). Loony went on to accuse Obama of everything except donning scuba gear & blowing up the oil rig himself.
Calling this a rant is being charitable. This mother was almost foaming at the mouth while he spewed his hatred for Obama.
Side bar: Chris Matthews of MSNBC later that day had loony Brown on to repeat these allegations. One of Matthews self promoting commercials states, that he, Chris Matthews gets to the truth & won't let guests get away with any crap, coz "he will call them out" Watching that interview was a lesson in how not to do your journalistic job. Christ, Larry King would have done a more credible interview. Maybe Matthews was off his game due to disbelief over the pure bullshit & hatred coming out of Brown's pie hole.
Side Bar #2: Politically, I lean a tad ,a smidge, a jot, a whit left of center. That makes me, according to certain elements in this country, "A liberal".
On most social issues that is probably true. If not wanting intrusion from the government or others into my or anyone's private life (including the bedroom), then I'm a liberal. However, I'm so fiscally conservative that I make $crooge McDuck look like a spendthrift. I don't want to continue wasting tax dollers on failed programs designed to help someone "get a leg up". Win or lose, let us live our lives.
After watching the Brown carnival & the actual lack of any challenge to this hatred, I'm so ticked off, that I hereby now declare myself, a full fledged, 100% died- in-the-wool liberal. In the words of President Geo. W. Bush,"Thanks Brownie, you're doing a heckava job".
Side bar#3: To all the hate spewing "righties", Beck, Limbaugh, Brown, Bachmann, Colter, Ingraham, Fox News & others of their ilk... in the words of the great American John Stewart, " Go fuck yourself".

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Quake & Shakes


Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi last week claimed "Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,"
Thus far,in 2010 according to the USGS (US Geological Survey) , there have been 5273 earthquakes recorded worldwide.
Are breasts credited for these quakes? If so, do you count them individually,
or by set(pair)? One boob = one quake. Two boobs = 1 quake.
Throughout my life, there have been many times that the mere sight of a pair of breasts have caused my earth to move.
If this theory is to be given any credence, then we must add Segdghi to the list of boob related (inspired) quakes. With his statement, he must certainly be added to the roster of biggest boobs.
One or two more nature/breast related thoughts. Are the Northern Lights now referred to as "areola borealis"? Are tornadoes now to be called "tittie twisters"?

The Santa Clara County California supervisors have banned restaurants from giving away toys with kids' meals in a bid to control childhood obesity.
According to CNN, this applies to meals that have 500 or more calories (burger, fries, shake). Can you say "Happy Meal".
I don't mind government intervention in our lives (FTC, FDA, EPA etc.). These agencies were established to serve as watchdogs to protect the citizens from being steamrolled by unscrupulous corporations who, lets charitable say, don't always have the citizens safety or best interests in mind. (I do object to their recent lack of enforcement).
However, where the frak do these Sana Clara asswipes get off telling us what to feed our kids or ourselves? If their concern is so noble, then provide college education, quality housing, high paying jobs etc for the citizenry for free. All of the above have been proven to enhance a better quality of life. Government can't get into the role of "parenting" through half-hearted or select intervention. If you want to be my Dad & Mom, that's fine. I need the keys to the Mercedes Saturday. Can I have more Grey Poupon with my Kobe Steak? If not, that makes for a very unhappy citizen & a very unhappy meal.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Achtung Buckeroo



Well Reich fans, looks like the brown shirts have secured a toehold in our 48th state (admitted to the union on Feb. 14,1912).
Arizona has enacted a bill that is at best unconstitutional. The new immigration bill SB1070 in part requires that all immigrants carry documentation verifying their immigration status. It also stipulates that police officers have the authority to ask to see the information from any individual that is deemed “suspicious” or when there is “reasonable suspicion” that the person may not be legally in the country.
The Arizonan House have also passed a "Birther Bill." Senate Bill 1024, passed with the minimum 31 votes, all from Republicans. The bill would require the Arizona Secretary of State to verify the citizenship of U.S. presidential candidates. Show me your papers.
With apologies to Cole Porter's "Don't fence Me In"
"Oh, give me land, lots of land
Under starry skies above,
Just Lock Them Up.
Let me ride through the wild open
Country that I love,
Just Lock Them Up.
Let me be by myself in the evening breeze-
Listen to the murmer of the cottonwood trees,
Send me off forever, but I ask you please,
Just Lock Them Up.
"
I don't pretend to understand all the ramifications illegals have on the economy of Arizona or the other issues involved. I do understand that you don't pass laws that are targeting a specific race for whatever reasons in the USA. Home of the brave, land of the free. Adolf tried it. Now Arizona.
Who's next? I'll tell you, if you show me your papers.

Monday, April 26, 2010

This & That & The Other Part 2

This: A couple weeks back Nebraska Governor Heineman (R) signed a bill requiring a mental evaluation exam prior to an abortion. Let's go one step further for Nebraska. A mental evaluation exam prior to breeding. Are you going to be a fit parent? A step yet further. An inclusive mental evaluation exam for the residents of Nebraska. You must have some diminished capacity if you want to continue living in Nebraska.

That: Net neutrality has become a major issue since early April 2010 when a Washington DC appeals court overturned the FCC's ruling against Comcast's "network management".
Comcast, Time Warner & the other big boys of net providers are against any net neutrality. They're not against free speech, it's just that it's gonna cost you depending upon how much free speech you want to use.
There are plans to institute tier levels similar to cable rates, (basic, basic plus, silver, premium etc.) depending what & how many websites the user wants access to. Point of reference: This sounds just a bit like the battle between China & Google regarding net access & content.
One of the major arguments against net neutrality comes from the proponents of the "free market system". How's that working out for America?
Has any system been more abused than the free market system?
Wall street(nuff said), Corporate America(outsourcing), NAFTA (900,000+
jobs lost).
Some of the proponents for net neutrality are Google, Yahoo, EBAY, Amazon, Microsoft & others. These fellows have very deep pockets. When the inevitable law suits are filed over the final decision, my money (meager that it is) goes with the Google etc.
With apologies to Stephen Colbert"s truthiness.
My new word: Netrality: The act of having unlimited access & use of the internet without additional costs or censorship from internet service providers.
One more thing. Why does the USA have such slow internet speed compared to the rest of the world? Is it a Corporate plot? Stay tuned.

The Other: Baseball movies. Tis the season for Baseball. So in keeping with the season, a minor rant & opinion. It seems that for whatever reason, this time of year sportscasters feel compelled to compile a list of their favorite Baseball movies. Inevitably, "Bull Durham" or "Field of Dreams" top those lists. Not being a sportscaster , I'm just as qualified to submit my list of my favorite Baseball movies that seem to be ignored.
1. Long Gone (1987)
William Petersen, Virginia Madsen
A classic comedy with a bit of social commentary about at minor league ball club down south during the 50' & the behind the scenes machinations of ownership & the introduction of a black ballplayer to the lineup. Great scene involving the Klan. Plus, Virginia Madsen (playing Dixie Lee Boxx) nude scene.
2. It Happens Every Spring (1949)
Ray Milland, Paul Douglas, Jean Peters
Another comedy. This one deals with a college prof who by accident discovers a liquid that repels wood. The obvious application. Rub it on a baseball. Prof becomes major league star pitcher for St. Louis leading them to World series while picthing under an alias to protect the dignity of the Alma Mater.
3. Angels in the Outfield (1951)
Paul Douglas, Janet Leigh, Keenan Wynn James Whitmore (voice of angel),
Pittsburgh Pirates suck & are stuck in the cellar. Paul Douglas makes a deal to cleanup his foul mouthed hot tempered act.
Side note: Douglas actually cusses up a storm in the movie, the soundtrack is purposely distorted during his rants.
Pirates start to win etc. Douglas' sanity called into question due his belief of heavenly intervention. Keenan Wynn is superb as smug play by play announcer.

As always, these are my takes on the world around me. But what the hell do I know? Pay attention, there is a final exam.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Nuclear Option


There has been a lot of talk the last couple of weeks regarding the "nuclear option" as it pertains to the United States Senate.
Per Wikipedia's definition: "In U.S. politics, the nuclear option allows the United State Senate to reinterpret a procedural rule by invoking the constitutional requirement that the will of the majority be effective. This option allows a simple majority to override precedent and end a filibuster or other delaying tactic."
This would be used regarding the attempt to finalize President Obamas' health care bill.
The Republicans are all in a tizzy over the prospect that the Democrats would use this option to circumvent constitutional procedures. They are outraged. They would never use this option.
The effen hypocrites.
This maneuver was prominent in 2005 , when Bill Frist Tennessee Republican wanted to use it against the dems during George W. Bush's
second term.
Both parties have used this threat as a bargaining chip to stall the passage of bills or for cabinet & judicial nominations.
Either way you see it, both parties are involved in a pissing contest while nothing gets done to help America get back on its feet.
My solution would be a different type of "nuclear option" for congress if they continue to disregard the reasons they were elected into office. I believe that reason was to serve the people.
How about we drop the big one atop the congressional building.
Now that's a real "nuclear option." (sarcastically speaking)

Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Buck Stops Here


Troy Alan Reinke plead guilty. The accused poacher plead guilty to three charges & was sentenced to 1 yr in the grey bar hotel, stripped of hunting privileges for 5 yrs, pay court costs & pay $2000 in fines.
This jackhole was accused of illegally possessing an eight point trophy buck along with two other deer. Plea bargained to lesser charges, (originally facing 16 counts of illegal hunting) he was allowed to cop a plea.
The head of the Mn Deer Hunters Assoc. called it "a slap on the wrist."
The street value of the eight point rack would have been valued at over $100,000.
Reinke still a says he didn't kill the buck, he found it . If true, he should have reported the "find" to the DNR instead of planning to sell the prized rack (apologies to the late Jayne Mansfield) to a local sporting goods store.
Originally claiming that he shot the buck with a bow & arrow, he changed his story. The deer was shot killed with a bullet out of season.
The manager of the state DNR said " the judicial system worked"
Hold on a second.
I'm not a hunter. Have no desire to. There are too many unbalanced people out there with guns as it is. (Them not me.)
Regarding losing his hunting privileges for 5 yrs. I'm quite sure that after serving his time, this upright citizen can be trusted not to hunt for the the 5 yrs. He sure has shown his high regard for the law so far.
If this rack is valued at $100,000, isn't this considered a gross misdemeanor? One freaking year for a high stakes crime.
Score one for the judicial system my backside.
Bambi & Thumper must be aghast at the travesty.
Hopefully, while in the slammer, someone will make Reinke their personal Bambi & go all Thumper up his ass for the duration.

King of the Wild Frontier





Fess Parker died This last Thursday At age 85. To millions of boomers & their parents, he was & ever will be "Davy Crockett"
Mr. Parker was the star in the 50's mini series produced by Walt Disney for his weekly TV show Disneyland. Used to promote Disney's new attraction Frontierland at his new theme park, it quickly transcended all if any expectations. Whether it was the cold war times that fit the need for an American hero, or just riding the crest of that new innovation called television, Davy Crockett became the first craze designed just for boomers.
I was one of the many that owned a coonskin cap (actually rabbit skin) & a Davy Crockett t-shirt. For Christmas I got a "Davy Crockett at The Alamo" playset. This was one of many tin litho sets manufactured by Marx Toys. Clothing, books, toy rifles & records (theme from Davy Crockett spent 6 weeks as #1 on the charts) were everywhere. I still have a Davy Crockett ceramic cup.If you haven't guessed by now, Davy Crockett was the "King of the Wild Frontier" & the king of merchandising.
My dad was hospitalized at this time for quite awhile & died from cancer soon after. Maybe it was being in a female dominated home or I needed a father figure type in my life, but at the time, Fess Parker in the persona of Davy Crockett filled the void for a 6 yr old. (Freud,table for one)
Another boomer "hero" has passed along with a little bit of gentler times.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

This & That & the Other

This:
Well here in beautiful Minnesota we are entering our fifth season. Floods.
Every year as it happens with large snowfall in the winter, the coming of spring brings flooding. Every year towns along the Red River, the Mn River & the Mississippi are decimated by rising water. There is a reason it's called a flood basin. While watching the local news the other day, all three networks featured the story about the concern of ice jams forming which caused early flooding in certain areas. Clearly a problem. I was amazed that no one has apparently seen a Hollywood "disaster" movie. The solution to this layman, seemed obvious. Dynamite. Why wait for Mother Nature to decide the fate of countless homes & businesses, when a few sticks of dynamite strategically placed, could break up these ice jams.
Granted, this won't solve the long term problem of the seasonal flooding, but it will slow down the immediate danger & give communities valuable time to prepare for the inevitable.
That:
Recently, the state of Maine was considering issuing health warning labels for cell phones. There is some concern that the cell phone's emission of electromagnetic radiation could cause brain cancer & tumors.
While other countries such as Finland, Israel & France have issued guidelines for cell phones, the good old USA has yet to act. Isn't it strange that the only "comprehensible" study of cell phones & their safe use, which found that no danger existed, was paid for by the cell phone industry.
With over 270 million users of cell phones in the USA, I wonder if there will be a time down the road, where generations with cancer riddled brains will find themselves connected to their cell phones & life support.
The Other:
Just recently I signed onto snagajob.com. Looking for work as I have been unemployed for 1 year. After finding a prospective employer, I spent over 1/2 hour entering my resume & other pertinent facts as requested by the website. No cut & paste here. Hey wake up & smell the 21st Century.
After clicking on the apply now button, I almost immediately received an email from snagajob, which in part read
"Unfortunately your application did not meet the requirements for this
position."
Now this position was for overnight stocking of merchandise at a major dept. store chain. No previous experience was needed. No high school diploma needed. Basically an entry level grunt job.
I am over qualified for this position, but after a year of being out of work, even this looked good.
My problem with snagajob was their decision to determine if I was right for the position. Am I that outdated that I think perhaps the employer should be the one making that choice? I truly believe that this website is not only a technological disaster, it is also detrimental to those looking for work & the prospective employer.
So that's all folks for now. Maybe next time I'll do a me & you & them rant.

Friday, February 26, 2010


With apologies to Merle Travis & Tennessee Ernie Ford, " Another "year" older & deeper in debt" Yeah Happy Birthday to me. Alotta crap has gone down in the last year. Still numbered amongst the unemployed. Starting to feel like a lyric from Brother Can You Spare a Dime ?

They used to tell me I was building a dream
With peace and glory ahead
Why should I be standing in line
Just waiting for bread?

Once I built a railroad, I made it run
Made it race against time
Once I built a railroad, now it's done
Brother, can you spare a dime?

Well It's not quite that bad for me...no bread line.
Yet, there are millions of hard working Americans who cannot find employment. We are having to face the reality that we are becoming forgotten by society i.e. Corporate America, government. No average working man might have started this economic mess. (Sure, some may have what is euphemistically termed, lived beyond their means, over extended themselves, whatever you want to call it, it's out there.) Like so many Pavlov's Dogs we have been taught, Job = money= the good life
( American Dream)
Bigger house, better car, buy a boat etc. Hard to be a nation of consumers when you don't consume. Decades of being told to buy & spend. It's good for America & America's economy.
It's tough when through no direct action of your own, it all comes crashing down.
Pure & simple, the cause is a result of corporate greed, (banks, Wall Street etc.) & government irresponsablity.
When the government is so broken & votes are bought & paid for by the very group that they are supposed to police what can you expect?
By getting in bed with these immoral greedy jackholes , the government has given birth to a bastard. And it's an ugly child, filled with resentment, hopelessness and bitter anger.
This country is angry & frustrated by the the lack of government"of the people, by the people, for the people. "Apparently in congress, by the people has become buy the people.
This country is locked & loaded. God help us if some day that gun goes off.
Enough of the moral & political philosophy.
It's my birthday, a time to celebrate the wonders of the world A time to celebrate family & friends. A time for the royal feast to begin. A time for fond memories & embarrassment.



Friday, February 12, 2010

You don't need to be Perry Mason


Well here's another thing stuck in my craw, i.e. it pisses me off.
A 17 times (dating back 30 years) "career offender" convicted felon with charges ranging from forgery, burglary, welfare fraud, repeated sex crimes, failure to register as a sex offender, failure to comply with probation, failure to avoid contact with minors & more, to numerous to jot down here. This creep is a real bag of excrement.
On June 20,2007, this turdbag was sentenced for depositing $35,000 in counterfeit checks into his bank account.
The district judge sentenced the felon to the maximum of 20 yrs due to his literal life of crime. That's 7 times recommended state guidelines for forgery. Alright judge. Book 'em Dano. Why was this space - wasting, breathing - my - air piece of shit out of the Gray Bar Hotel in the first place?

Now this is what pisses me off.
Upon appeal, a 3 judge panel of the Mn Court of Appeals ruled his prison term "unreasonable & excessive. they ordered the case sent back for resentencing.
The felon waived his rights to a Blakely hearing, which is a jury hearing to determine if defendants qualify for enhanced penalties. He rolled the dice & lost.
In my be responsible for your actions world, this guy got what was long overdue.
How dare these pussy judges overturn what was a legal by the book sentence.
In our local paper, it always publishes a photo of someone who is charged or later convicted of committing a crime.
Again, in my responsible world, these judges need to have their pictures published as well. In fact let's start to hold all the judges accountable for their sentencing policies. Example: If a felon is given probation for a crime & then proceeds to commit another crime while on probation, the original sentencing judge must make restitution to the victim. In other words... no probation ever. serve out your time. If a person awaiting trial for a serious crime while out on bail imposed by a lenient judge, commits murder, upon conviction, the original judge must serve a life in prison in the same cell as the murderer. If a repeat convicted felon continues to break the law after release from prison, at the very least, the sentencing should be doubled.
I'm tired of career criminals using the system of lenient judges to continue being career criminals. Hold the judges responsible.
That's my verdict. Courts adjourned.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Bat child has sex with tabloid reporter


I'm a codger. I read the newspaper. Yes, an actual hold it in your hands while eating breakfast, newspaper reading codger. Well, while doing that very thing today, I thought the carrier (remember when they were called paperboys?) delivered a supermarket tabloid by accident.
A couple of headlines jumped out. If you will allow me... these are real.
These were all on one page of the local section.

Partygoer dies after hotel fight: Cop say alcohol flowed; 5 arrested.

Woman convicted for role in murder: Brother's body found burned in fire pit.

Woman accused of drinking while behind the wheel: Her daughter, 10 was also in vehicle

What the hell?
I've realized for decades that the planet is headed south, but apparently I missed the part where a new subspecies of mutants was introduced into the general population.
In the first story, those arrested have "long criminal records" ranging from misdemeanors to assault (you think), domestic assault, drug possession & assault of a police officer. ( Can you say career criminals with either a really good lawyer or a pansy assed incompetent judge.)
The second story involves a conviction of premeditated 1st degree murder stemming from a simmering family dispute. The deceased was stabbed with an arrow, had head injuries, torched & dumped in a fire pit. ( There are some family members I don't always agree with, this might be a bit of an extreme measure to get your point across.)
Finally, in the third story, the accused while heading to a local casino was busted for DUI with her daughter in the car. When the cops asked if she had been drinking. The ever truthful accused said she had consumed one vodka drink. The accused then produced a glass from inside the vehicle that was estimated to 32 oz. in size. (Now we all know that we shouldn't drink & drive, but sweet Jesus, drinking while driving especially in this quantity with child on board is just a little too much. Unless your kid is of legal drinking age, then you can blame it on them.)
I guess the point of all this is just a reminder to self to cancel my subscription the The Enquirer, & The Star. I'll stick with my local paper. At least there's a chance I might actually know some of these mutants.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I Don't Get (part 2 of a continuing series)

Sarah Palin
Fox News ( closest thing we have to Fascism in the USA)
Sarah Palin
Chris Matthews ( abrasive interruptus)
Larry King (z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z)(soft ball)
Sarah Palin
Mark McGuire (shame, you spineless sack)
Right Wing Nuts (cuckoos)
Left Wing Nuts (looney tunes)
Sarah Palin (I've either developed a stutter , or I really don't get it)
Jay Leno (never was nor will be funny)
Gay marriage ban (let em suffer as do we heteros)
AMC, TV Land ( boy what crap these have become)
Congress (what ,or are you slackers thinking)
Evangelists ( may the good Lord take a liking to ya)
Sarah Palin
American Idol ( is it American Idle? get a effen life)
Barry Bonds (you make Mark McGuire look good)
Law & Order Marathons
Sarah Palin (it's so ironically funny)(definition:Almost all irony involves commentary which heightens the tension naturally involved in regarding the state and fate of a person (in the present, or the past) who badly needs to know a given fact which they could easily know, but which they do not.)
Sara Palin

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Jocks Strapped


The gun toting/brandishing incident involving Gilbert Arenas & Javarias Crittenton astounds me almost to the point of disbelief.
Earlier today as I was channel flipping I came across a panel discussion on ESPN. One of the planalist called the NBA a "thug" league. Exception was immediately taken by Kevin Blackistone a regular on ESPN's "Around The Horn" His counter point was that the term thug was a euphemism for urban black man. Well Kevin, if the Nike fits, wear it. By everyone on the panels agreement, the NBA has adopted a "HIP HOP"culture.
Nowhere in professional sports is a players individuality more prominent then in the NBA, much to the detriment of said sport. Sorry, I haven't watched the NBA in four years.
I'm a geezer. I remember Earl "The Pearl" Monroe, Willis Reed, Elgin Baylor, Oscar Robertson & the fantastic Julius Irving. It was all about TEAM. The only time attitude was acceptable was when your team won the title.
These Hip Hop wannabes with their gun toting, thug activities just can't cut it anymore.
Arenas gets suspended. The verdict is out on Crittenton.
I hope a message is sent so loud & clear that it drowns out the Hip Hop bullshit.
Whatever happens to these millionaire assholes, I'm sure it will have major financial ramifications. Then you will see two, who at least moneywise, become Jocks Strapped.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Frozen Nuts


Current temperature is -12 Farenheit. Forecast is for a hell of a lot colder.
The first line in the U of M fight song is, Minnesota, hats off to thee!
That song was obviously not written in January. Take your hat off today & you'll be looking at frozen follicles. Now this may be the perfect name for a
new wave punk retro band from Minnesota. Ladies & germs... the Frozen Follicles. Opening act is Hunker Down.. That's the phrase being bandied about today. To hunker down is to settle in at a location for an extended period. That location better be inside for the next week or hypothermia will seem like a sunburn in August.
I don't know if we have an official state poet, but it should be Robert Frost.
Let's make Clarence Birdseye II an honoray state citizen..
It's one of those cold spells that takes on legendary status.
Every January for a long as this old man can remember we have one of these.
It becomes a hallmark of Minnesota winters. If we can survive this, the worst is over...Bullshit. It's still gonna be cold with snow, blowing snow, falling temps, subnormal temps for the next two months at least. It's so cold, you can sympathize if the dog starts pissing in the house.
Who or what in their right mind would voluntarily go outside to relieve themselves in this kind of weather?
If they did, the best case scenario could result in frozen nuts.
That what we who live here in winter are.. Frozen Nuts