Frozen Nuts

Current temperature is -12 Farenheit. Forecast is for a hell of a lot colder.
The first line in the U of M fight song is, Minnesota, hats off to thee!
That song was obviously not written in January. Take your hat off today & you'll be looking at frozen follicles. Now this may be the perfect name for a
new wave punk retro band from Minnesota. Ladies & germs... the Frozen Follicles. Opening act is Hunker Down.. That's the phrase being bandied about today. To hunker down is to settle in at a location for an extended period. That location better be inside for the next week or hypothermia will seem like a sunburn in August.
I don't know if we have an official state poet, but it should be Robert Frost.
Let's make Clarence Birdseye II an honoray state citizen..
It's one of those cold spells that takes on legendary status.
Every January for a long as this old man can remember we have one of these.
It becomes a hallmark of Minnesota winters. If we can survive this, the worst is over...Bullshit. It's still gonna be cold with snow, blowing snow, falling temps, subnormal temps for the next two months at least. It's so cold, you can sympathize if the dog starts pissing in the house.
Who or what in their right mind would voluntarily go outside to relieve themselves in this kind of weather?
If they did, the best case scenario could result in frozen nuts.
That what we who live here in winter are.. Frozen Nuts